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Torment?  

scc1965 56M
11 posts
1/16/2022 9:12 pm
Torment?


No this isn't about bdsm....well maybe it is. I don't hide the fact that I am married. My wife is a beautiful woman. There are a few things that sometimes bug me...but I am an understanding man and I just let it roll and not let it get under my skin. But she does get under my skin...she is a bit older , and here is the problem. She has given up on our sex life...and not from a lack of trying on my part trying to keep it from dying all together. It just isn't working and she isn't trying. I have had an affair a few yes ago when I couldn't take it any longer. I was seeing another married woman at the time and we really clicked, it was so hot and awesome. It went on for 2yrs. At the time she wasn't looking to change her situation, and I wasn't looking to change mine. It worked well and we managed to hook up a couple times a week. Long story short, my lover got a divorce then I couldn't be there enough for her, so she started dating and seeing other men, which I was a bit hurt about it, but shrugged it off. She wanted me to leave my wife, but I hesitated....it would mean a drastic change in my lifestyle that I didn't think I could live with. So we parted ways...on good terms. I still run into her now and then and she seems happy for the most part ,but she told me she misses our hot rendezvous. We even were going to hookup for old times sake, but she backed out, cold feet. I was good with it. I went to a therapist after we parted ways, I was going crazy. My wife found out I went to the therapist and she decided to have a sexual awakening, she was really coming around. I told her I was thinking about leaving her, and I did come very close to it. Well things started getting hot again with my wife, we were dating and having a decent amount of sex and it was like wow, fun. And exciting. Fast forward a few yes, and now it is non existent . We are both older obviously, but my drive hasn't diminished and her fire is completely out. So here I am , looking for a lover. I am not finding what I am looking for even though there "appears " to be a handful of women that I find attractive. So, I am tormented by a beautiful wife that I can't have...but I do have her by my side. Most people say I am lucky, and I am the asshole for trying to cheat. I been wanting to have the conversation with her about an open marriage, but I don't think she would take it well......looking for advice......how to approach the subject. I am open to hear what other people say. I hope to receive a few comments.

author51 59F  
130010 posts
1/17/2022 12:04 am

Communication is key to any long term relationship Hun. Have you asked her Why her sex drive is not there anymore? Has she gone through menopause or is she going through it now? Are you both still In Love with each other? There is a difference between just love and being In Love.. I wish I could help you more but you need this heart to heart with your wife Hun...xoxo


jimchevy62 60M  
86 posts
1/17/2022 5:11 am

I am in a similar situation, Don't want a divorce I miss the fun we used to have, Menopause is hell on a marriage.


Only_one_14 53F  
4663 posts
2/5/2022 8:45 pm

I understand about the sex drive and not wanting to change your life but you need a spark to feel like you are alive. I had an amazing lover who touched me in so many ways that it is so hard to describe. It was passionate, loving, and out of this world experience when we were behind closed doors. I think about him all the time but have not spoken with him for 7- 8 yrs. I have said that I miss him and people tell me it is not him who I miss but what we had.....but that is not true because If it was just about what we had I am sure I could find that with other lovers. It's him I miss. I honestly never felt that we would be apart that we would find away to keep each other and keep what we have at home. That did not happen. So, I write and email and chat with others to fill the voids in me. I am sorry that I can not help you but I can listen if that helps~

A Man who knows how to use his tongue is extremely useful!


scc1965 replies on 2/6/2022 12:24 pm:
Thank you for that. I too had a lover a few yrs ago...it was so hot and intimate...the best ever...I miss that like you do. I want to find another and I hope to. Thank you for your comment. Feel free to drop by anytime.

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