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Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved.....

Sleep eludes me tonight....  

secret_lade 49F
14311 posts
5/29/2020 11:22 pm
Sleep eludes me tonight....

It's 1:58 am and I'm wide awake.

My thoughts are everywhere, and nowhere, at once.

I hate this feeling.

That feeling of... I can't even really describe it. Sorrow? Uncertainty? Trepidation?

A mixture of all .

It's the feeling I get when my anxiety is high, that feeling of being out of sorts and unable figure out what is wrong so I can right it.

I can only hope it passes soon.

secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
6/1/2020 1:06 am
    Quoting looking4u69ca:
    Maybe you are still experiencing spider trauma.
That is a good possibility! I ended up finding another, smaller spider the next morning. LOL


looking4u69ca 63M  
4322 posts
5/31/2020 4:17 pm

 Maybe you are still experiencing spider trauma.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
5/30/2020 2:55 pm
    Quoting easy_going2014:
    Hi secret_lade

    thanks for sharing

    sometimes I have those restless nights

    usually, it's due to pressure build up without a release, or change in your routine or other things

    these last few months have been tough on all

    you used to write about your work outs and how the spawn would notice things, but, now, you've not written about them in awhile

    with things opening up, maybe you'll be back in that positive work-out routine that was making you bubbly

    still, with my gym closed, I've had to force myself to do other work outs, walking, leg lifts, anything to keep that heart pumping

    I hope you find some sleep

    be safe

    this one might help you sleep

    Sia - "I Go to Sleep"

    When I look up from my pillow
    I dream you are there with me
    Though you are far away
    I know you'll always be near to me
    I go to sleep, sleep
    And imagine that you're there with me
    I go to sleep, sleep
    And imagine that you're there with me
    I look around me
    And feel you are ever so close to me
    Each tear that flows from my eye
    Brings back memories of you to me
All of my routines have been disrupted as a result of all this. I'm hoping that the gyms will be able to open back up on June 12th... Being able to work out regularly had really helped my anxiety and sleep. I was starting to feel better. With all the focus on hiring at work, I've been feeling pretty stressed, and I don't talk about it with anyone, so I carry it all around inside. I'm just really ready for things to feel a little more normal again.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
5/30/2020 2:41 pm
    Quoting pagancountrygirl:
    I would go with the trepidation. That spider may have had friends....and he knows where you live.
    But then again, with all the stress that's been heaped on everyone since the pandemic...and no end in sight right now...it's probably a mixture of everything piling up and your mind just hasn't had a chance to sort it all out yet.
    Unless you had sushi for dinner. Then I'd blame it on the sushi. lol
Nope... No sushi for me. LOL It's really not that bad, but, that's all just a matter of opinion. LOL


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
5/30/2020 2:40 pm
    Quoting citizen4722:
    I can usually get about 5/6 hours sleep at night. Depends on how painful my leg is.
    It's not easy trying to 'switch off' with all else that's going on but I hope you sleep better soon.
It's time again for my quarterly review at work.... And work was definitely on my mind. Ugh...


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
5/30/2020 2:34 pm
    Quoting Paulxx001:
    Sometimes that feeling comes and goes.
    If it goes more often than it comes... you'll be fine. 🌹👍
Lately I've been struggling a little.


secret_lade 49F
9227 posts
5/30/2020 2:29 pm
    Quoting mc_justmc:
    I ran out of sleep around 3:30, laid there for about an hour tossing and turning and eventually dozzed off again. I need a new bed.
I fell asleep again at 4am. I knew I didn't have to work today, so I just kind of decided to get up until I was tired again. I try not to do this because it creates a bad sleep pattern for me, one that is hard to break.


easy_going2014 57M
Ask me for a photo
14366 posts
5/30/2020 12:02 pm

 Hi secret_lade

thanks for sharing

sometimes I have those restless nights

usually, it's due to pressure build up without a release, or change in your routine or other things

these last few months have been tough on all

you used to write about your work outs and how the spawn would notice things, but, now, you've not written about them in awhile

with things opening up, maybe you'll be back in that positive work-out routine that was making you bubbly

still, with my gym closed, I've had to force myself to do other work outs, walking, leg lifts, anything to keep that heart pumping

I hope you find some sleep

be safe

this one might help you sleep

Sia - "I Go to Sleep"

When I look up from my pillow
I dream you are there with me
Though you are far away
I know you'll always be near to me
I go to sleep, sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I go to sleep, sleep
And imagine that you're there with me
I look around me
And feel you are ever so close to me
Each tear that flows from my eye
Brings back memories of you to me
To leave private messages, please use my confidential mailbox at my blog:

Good luck!!!


pagancountrygirl 66F
Ask me for a photo
6466 posts
5/30/2020 9:26 am

 I would go with the trepidation. That spider may have had friends....and he knows where you live.
But then again, with all the stress that's been heaped on everyone since the pandemic...and no end in sight right now...it's probably a mixture of everything piling up and your mind just hasn't had a chance to sort it all out yet.
Unless you had sushi for dinner. Then I'd blame it on the sushi. lol
Pagan
Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!


citizen4722 66M  
74582 posts
5/30/2020 8:22 am

 I can usually get about 5/6 hours sleep at night. Depends on how painful my leg is.
It's not easy trying to 'switch off' with all else that's going on but I hope you sleep better soon.


Paulxx001 67M
22642 posts
5/30/2020 5:55 am

 Sometimes that feeling comes and goes.
If it goes more often than it comes... you'll be fine. 🌹👍


mc_justmc 63M

5/30/2020 5:39 am

 I ran out of sleep around 3:30, laid there for about an hour tossing and turning and eventually dozzed off again. I need a new bed.


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