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It's wonderful that you have a friend that knows both you and DOST. After I read the first part of your post I was going to suggest you start mentally hardening your heart and distancing yourself from him to try and lessen potential pain and heartbreak. Then I read everything after the ~~~ tildes ~~~. Your childhood friend really put things into perspective for you, Elizabella, and I am so glad she did. You, like many, enjoy playing what I call "The What If Game" but it's usually not productive nor winnable. I used to play it myself until I finally figured out it doesn't help with emotional relationships. It's a very hard habit to break, though, as we try to figure out why our fwbs/lovers do what they do and say what they say. Rather than guess or go through "what if," though, I found it's much easier to simply ask them. Preferably in person or video chat, but if needed, via email or while chatting on Facebook's Messenger or some other chat program. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, your emotions, your feelings, and the many details of your life with us, Elizabella. I, for one, appreciate it and enjoy learning more about you and your relationships. Take care. 
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A kind and useful response of you, DelnSLC Need a way to message all members? Click [post 4074810] for instructions .
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